The Scars That Tell the Best Stories

My first job as a PA was in surgery, and I loved the precision and meticulous detail that came with it. The scars, though, were always there — and the less you could see them, the more the work was esteemed.

Isn’t that how we feel about life sometimes? If I could just make everything go smoothly, and nobody saw my scars, I would finally find peace. Yet it’s precisely our scars that tell the best stories — and provide the ultimate healing.

A Season I Didn’t Choose

I remember it like it was yesterday. I found out I was pregnant with my third child while we weren’t living at home, because our house was being remediated for mold. The day before that, I’d also found out I had mold in my body.

I remember crying in my car, saying, “Okay God, I love you and I trust you, but it kind of feels like your timing is a bit off. I’m trying to see the beauty here, but it’s so unclear.” I knew I needed someone to help me see my life differently, because my whole being was saying, “life is happening to me, not for me.”

So I sought out a life coach, and she helped me change how I saw my world. Every morning before the boys woke up, I went for a walk, prayed, and then listened to my coaching session. It was one of the most painful, yet beautiful, seasons of my life. I was exhausted and nauseated, but the mindset work I was learning changed me — and I wanted to become more of that new woman every day.

I finally realized my circumstances hadn’t changed, but I had. And that’s what mattered most.

In college, I’d already done some cognitive behavioral therapy, gratitude journals, and spiritual direction. But this was different. She taught me how to renew my mind and take every thought captive. She taught me how my beliefs about my circumstances shaped the way I felt, and whether I took massive action or stayed passive. She taught me to hold my neighbor in the highest regard and love them as Jesus loves them, regardless of my circumstances or their reactions.

It wasn’t toxic positivity, or simply “thinking new thoughts.” It was changing my way of seeing, and my way of experiencing, my one beautiful life. There was a lot of journaling, evaluating, reframing, and renewing my mind. I became happier and more fulfilled — and I wanted that for everyone.

The One Thing

I remember driving home from work, listening to the radio, when they asked: “The best way to get to know someone is to ask what they’d talk about if they had two minutes for a TED talk on ONE thing. What would yours be?”

I immediately thought: This. Life coaching. Every woman needs this. Every woman deserves to wake up to the beauty of her life. I’m not discounting that we all go through hard times and experience pain — but what are you making it mean when you do? What can you learn from it? The quality of your questions determines the quality of your life.

I began to see all the possibilities in front of me — what I wanted, what I had, and what I could have. I woke up to what I was tolerating: beliefs, people, habits I’d outgrown, and values I wasn’t honoring that needed boundaries around them.

You only get one life, my friend, and every day can be cherished. My goal is to leave women better than I found them, and to help them live up to the highest version of themselves. It’s not about people-pleasing or perfectionism — it’s about stewarding your gifts, dreams, and values in a way that honors God and gives you more capacity to love.

Love, above all, is the highest standard.
You are the gift. Treat her well.

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If this stirred something in you, I’d love to help you take the next step.
Download my free guide, “10 Ways to Step Into Her Highest Standard,” or apply for a discovery call to talk about what it could look like to be coached.